their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
