He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
