You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
