how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
