ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize