I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
