I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize