Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
