I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
only you would photoshop your dick
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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