I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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