conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
