You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
