He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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