Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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