i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize