Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
