I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
