We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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