it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
