You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
