I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
