dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
