I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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