Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
