My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
This baby is an asshole
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
