Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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