Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
