She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just want to make out with him forever
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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