i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
