my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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