He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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