Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
