Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
