Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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