why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
