Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
