HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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