dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
