If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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