who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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