remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
