I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
