Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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