So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
