I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
