So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
