look no pants
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
