No, drunk sperm still make babies.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
