pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
