I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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