I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
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I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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