So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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