We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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