is wine microwaveable?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
