i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he was CRYING into my vagina
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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