i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
