dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
