Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
