If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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