I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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