He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
