Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
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We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
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I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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