we have pet lesbian snakes
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
